They look away but the whispering continues. I have no one to whisper to. I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that ...lint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain. He was pretty friendly and laughed a lot, maybe a little too much, but he made me feel at ease. He explained that he was going to interview me with a video camera and then would explain the rest as we went along.I sat on a couch and he was on another couch facing me. He asked me my name, which I replied "Sindy, with an S". He asked me my age and I told him I was 18. He had already seen my ID so he believed that I was 18. Then he asked me what I was doing in the life. Yes, he said in the life. I. “Just north of campus,” I said. “The model is locked up for the night.”“Yeah, I just found out. Where have you been?”“Let’s meet back at my apartment and I’ll tell you.”“Okay, I’ll be at your apartment in about fifteen minutes.”I nodded and hung up. I wasn’t sure how to explain things to Dalton. She had given me a chance when I needed it, and now Valory needed the same thing. The only problem was, Valory wasn’t likely to give up on her plans long enough for us to help her figure out what was. I liked Dearborn Station because there might be generals walking around. La Junta, on the other hand, hardly had anybody. The middle leg was on the El Capitan, 5:45 P.M. to 8:45 A.M. We could have taken the Super Chief and had a sleeper, but Mother said we couldn’t afford it. I’m sure we could have if she cared more about her daughter.Santa Fe French Toast was what I always got in the diner. Plus root beer. The observation car was pretty fun until you got bored counting silos.It’s how you get.
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